Thursday, August 7, 2008

SOS Good Witch of the West

Good morning faithful readers,

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find a way to force me to quit my job.

Let me be more specific. I'm not asking you to convince me to quit my job. I'm already sure that it's a good idea, because this job is seriously impeding my thesis progress, and it's so comfortable that I could get stuck in it forever. What I need is some momentum; a reason to stand up and quit now, as opposed to waiting for a better more convenient moment, 'cause a convenient moment my never come.

Some obstacles to consider: first, Money. I like money. It's been good to me and I owe it respect for enhancing my quality of life. But if I quit my job, I will stop making money, and I will be unable to pay my rent and tuition, and likely feel as though my position in the world is a lot more fragile. Of course, I could get another less-time-demanding job [likely waitressing again(sarcastic exclamation)] and I have a line of credit that I can lean on for $ 8000 or so, but both of these options scare me for equal but different reasons. Second obstacle, Loyalty. I like the people at my job. Like money, they also have been good to me. I respect them, and they've enhanced the quality of my life. But I think they're under the delusion that I'll be here for at least another 6 months. I make a pretty fantastic salary considering the minuscule amount of responsibility that I have, and I have benefits, which I am yet to fully exploit. The whole situation is kind of hard to shake.

But these obstacles pale when compared to the greater obstacle that is my thesis. It's the highest most daunting mountain that makes the other surrounding hills appear like pathetic, self-indulgent wastes of time. My problem right now is that I'm stuck on a particularly hazardous but sweet smelling hill, and that the sweetness scares me like poppies from the Wizard of Oz (or worse those mean trees who throw the apples). I'd like to just lie down and sleep (or eat wormy fruit), but something tells me I might get stuck lazing forever. I've been lost on this hill for months (kind like I got lost in High Park last night. That place is a jungle!) and I'm worried that between the cookies, free drinks, and grassy hobbit holes, I'll forget about the mountain all together.

So somebody please snap me out of this! Snow on me, fire me, or die my hair green in my sleep so that I can't go to work!

If you succeed I'll reward you a hefty acknowledgment in my finished thesis, and the green toy soldier that I appeared on my eggs when I went out for breakfast last weekend, and that I've been carrying around in my purse.
Godspeed everyone!

oh well,

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